Starting out

I have learned much in 7-8 years, and that is nothing can be entirely explained about the universe. No matter what someone thinks to be the Ultimate Truth, we must all come to terms with the fact that we, as humans, can only speculate on our coming into existance.

I don't know what, exactly, brought me to the pagan path...perhaps rebellion? No, that isn't quite right, I was in a state of questioning the world and I seemed to get satisfaction when getting introduced to the world of Wicca. One of my best friends at the time had introduced me to it through her mom...who is now a Baptist Christian funnily enough. She was my only person of true understanding as I grew up but due to so many dramas and her unreliability, I basically worked alone. I never quite trusted forums on the internet and I wasn't sure who was actually posting. Face-to-face is always more preferable, however, since I always had skeptic parents behind me (better than having parents trying to kick me out though) I never could get the help I needed to learn more and integrate myself into the world of being a pagan.

That being said, the books I did get a hold of were my Bibles, and in my youth I believed most of what I read to be truth. It wasn't until I was in the middle of High School that I had a rude awakening while learning a new terminology. A Fluffy Bunny. Looking back on it now, I most definitely was, but I had no clue what that was. I lived up to a very common problem in pagan communities today with ignorance that Wicca was all light, love, and not hurting others no matter what. Because of the nature of that problem, many within the pagan community today have turned a blind eye not wanting to deal with the ignorance of youth. So I wonder, how do you fix a problem such as this? Due to all the various branches a pagan can fall under, we have a hard enough time uniting together, as well as dealing with the prejudice of the outside, not-understanding world. There needs to be a better system of teachers available, ones who don't mind driving for free to a local bookstore who can educate the youth. Granted, it's not a perfect system, and security issues arise, but in a world like this- problems can occur from walking down a street.

I'm trying to find the answers to my world, I've even found comfort within the reconstuctionist pagan path of Asatru, but I am still feeling a little lost. Many who currently follow Asatru, or Odinism give a bad name in favor of the gods and use this path as an excuse for Racism. It's hard to follow a path that is tainted with political slander between those who think it's ok to mix Wicca and Asatru and accept anyone into their fold, to people who can't understand why someone not of Germanic blood would want to practice, to the far extreme of only allowing white Germanic followers and criticize or hold prejudice against those who aren't like them. This contrasts what I originally learned of peace, love, and acceptance, which I still hold deeply in my heart.


At this stage in my life I am constantly around others are either Wiccan, or Eclectic which can prove to be a problem because I know this well, you do things that feel right, but when you are working on a reconstuctionist path, you try to do what you can like the past, and because Asatru actually has quite a bit to base off of, I try to follow 'their' ways the best I can which can be hard for my wonder friends to understand. I can't hope to understand the will of my Gods if I don't know their stories and the practices today that is supported by the Asatru/ Odinist community, hence why I tent to be such a stickler and sometimes won't want to join in the eclectic celebrations. It's not that I think myself, or my gods better, not at all, but it's more like I can't bear to include other gods into my practice with others when I've just got the tip of the iceburg with my gods and I'm craving to hear their will.

I've actually noticed this about myself, and I've been told this by other pagans in my life before, but I tend to be more religious than others when it comes to Paganism. I just care so passionately! When I settle in later in life and I've studied a lot more I would love to organize my own pagan group, that focuses on integrate teaching for all paths, almost like a teacher group so they can go out and teach the youth that get brought in our world without support. Unlikely that it would work, but a girl can dream, right? If a group of pagans well versed in many paths appear in the world as a uniting force, I'm sure that more support can be rallied for acceptance of our faiths. Conferences could be made regular and creating common ground would be easier. Of course, everyone would have their specialty, but wouldn't a pagan teachers school sound wonderful? Full of academia and research of people's native lands and certification so people can look them up and be sure of it's accreditation instead of such and such is a high priest/priestess of some unknown clan from ???

I'm pretty much ranted out at the moment but keep tuning in for more if you like this! :)